Life in my Perspective

New Pcitures - Exclusive on LiveJournal

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 16:35:22 GMT

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 05:36:04 GMT

check out my wordpress blog. I am having trouble with this one.

Link: http://mytimetoshine45.wordpress.com/

New Photos - Weird but Cool

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 16:04:04 GMT

A Promise To Myself

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 05:56:33 GMT

I sit at a very nice meal with a crowd of my peers. We exchange very interesting remarks towards one another, not caring if others could hear us. We start a conversation about cock blocking and how that is the worst thing you could do to a 'friend.' I put marks around that word due to one specific reason. Reason being that a friend should be a friend who helps you through the hard times, a person who you could reveal your deepest darkest secrets, and maybe - if you are lucky - this person could let you know when you are out of line.

Coming to the University of Missouri I had a very sad thought reappear every single day. My friends back in Homewood are some people I consider my best friends. One of them in particular has been with me through a lot of ups and downs in my life. I tell him everything and vice versa. When I go home it is always awesome to see him, but besides him there has been a lack of REAL friendship throughout my lifetime.

As of right now I am very involved in 'The Rock.' They are the church I attend, and each week I attend up to four different groups through the church. I love each of them for different reasons, but I need something more. There is something wrong with the way I think. I wish I could feel comfortable enough to open up to. There have been moments of openness, but there are some things that I have only revealed to a couple people. One took me seriously and tried to help me through the issue, but the other group took it as a joke. They laughed in my face about it, almost mocking me to a certain extent. I shrugged it off as just another stupid thing, but it eats at me every day.

I have thought about this every single day, but I think I am comfortable enough to say something.

I have an addiction problem that attacks my mind on an hourly basis. Maybe even a 15 minute basis.

I find myself struggling each and every day with these problems. Even with all of my faith in God, I find myself disappointing Him each day. I know that I need to stay strong in His word and find a release for my situation, and I have been making strides to do just that, but sometimes I break down.

When my 'friends' scoffed at my issue I could feel my heart break. I knew that they did not take me seriously. I had just explained the deepest pain in my life... and they laughed.

One man helped me try to work things out through God. He has been the greatest influence in my life as of late. He listened to me for multiple hours talking about my problems. My mother has also been a major help, but tomorrow morning I am going to tell her some heart breaking things. I need to tell her the one thing that has haunted me for up to five years of my life. I need help and I have realized that my friends at The Rock need to become the friends I eat with, the friends I hang out with every day, the friends I tell everything, and the friends I want to be there at my wedding.

God has blessed me with another opportunity. This is it. If I ever relapse from this I promise I will tell the world what my problem is right here on my blog. I am going to thrive in the pressure. Just wait and see. It has been 24 hours. I can keep this up.

God Bless
Signing out,
Jake

The One I Want Back

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:02:51 GMT

Last night I remember a snippet of a dream I was having, and it included an ex-girlfriend of mine. I have rarely had dreams about past girlfriends, but this dream stuck out as something meant to happen.
Throughout my horrible history of having a women enter and exit my life within a short period of time, there has only been one that I have regretted breaking up with. Every time the thought of her beauty comes to mind I get butterflies again. The feeling actually ends up making me feel sick. You might be asking why in the world did I break up with someone who I think is so amazing, well I keep asking myself that same question.
There are two possibilities that always come up.
Option #1 - Previous to that relationship I could not handle a relationship that was ten minutes away, so a relationship 40 minutes away seemed to be impossible. I psyched myself out before we could fully grow.
Option #2 - I could not handle being with someone at that specific time -for a reason that slips my mind right now- and I knew that it eventually would not work out.

Option #1 seems to make the most sense, even thought as I sit here watching my phone's colorful beeper flash green. When It turns to blue I have received a text. I sit in this uncomfortable chair with one person on my mind. The one person I was too immature to be with.

By the way, whenever I talk about her I always end up calling her "The One I Want Back."

So before I get all emo on you guys, I wanted to thank you for reading along. If you don't read daily that is completely fine, but thank you anyways. I appreciate you reading a line of my life. Hope you guys know how much it means to me.

To The One I Want Back:
Please know that next year I want to have you back in my life. Now do not think I want you to go back out with me because I was an asshole back then. I have matured. I want you in my life. It does not matter if you are just a great friend or a possible girlfriend. You mean a lot to me. Hope you and your current boyfriend stay together, I really do. All I want is for you to be happy. God has blessed me with many things, and I know things have worked out for the best.
-Your good friend,
Jake

Song of the Day: "Dreams Are Dead" by Gas Station Robber.
Movie of the Day: Slumdog Millionaire

God Bless
Signing out,
Jake

The Song That Got Me To Columbia

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 14:12:03 GMT

During my ride home, Kelsey, Adym, Dave, and I came across some songs that needed some publicity.... due to our love for them.

Here Without You - 3 Doors Down
That's Not My Name - The Ting Tings
Girls Girls Girls - Jay-Z
Misery Business - Paramore
That's What You Get - Paramore
Poker Face - Lady Gaga
Right Round - Flo Rida

Songs that I think deserve attention:
Stop This Song - Paramore
Bang Bang - K'naan
Lifeline - Papa Roach
You and I - Shane and Shane
America - Justine Bennett

BUT....
This song I listened to a bunch of times! Great stuff. It makes me laugh every time *knock on wood.*
CHECK IT OUT BY CLICKING ON THE LINK!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQjw9QkzGPU

God Bless
Signing out,
Jake

Angelina, Daniel Craig, Penelope Cruz, Sean Penn, and Kristen Stewart were my good friends - Break.

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 18:47:36 GMT

Over spring break I have done a couple things. literally.... only a couple.
These are: watch TV, hang out with friends and family, and watch movies.

Here are my reviews of the movies over break.

Milk - A
One of the best movies that I have had the pleasure of seeing in a long time. Sean Penn did a fantastic job playing Harvey Milk. An inspirational movie that everyone should see.
Changeling - B+
Acting from Angelina was good... she only had to say a couple lines over and over and over and over again.... but it was an overall solid movie.
Quantum of Solace - B-
please have a plot.... to much action. entertaining tho.
Vicki Christina Barcelona - B+
I dont know why I liked it so much. Just a good movie to see. definitely different and good in all aspects.
Twilight - B-
yes... i saw it. I liked it. Cant wait for the next one to come out in 2010.

argue with me please. I enjoy it. lol

God Bless
Signing out,
Jake

On The Wire

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 05:51:31 GMT

On The Wire
By: Jake Gonzales

Force me on the wire
make me walk the line
I'll run across to meet you
the sweat drips off my face
with my thoughts running faster than I could

My feet are cut by this wire
as the blood runs drips to the ground
splashing against the cement
my DNA lay on the cracked sidewalk
starting to boil over with anger

The hatred of those eyes
the judge and the jury were there
Stabbing my heart with a look
and you had no care
mind and soul being torn apart

the cuts on my toes rips my veins
spewing out is my strength
the wire gets slicker
I can not keep standing here
so push me off

...you already have.

Pre-Spring Break

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 05:35:59 GMT

So tonight around 10:15pm I was driving my friend's car down Maryland (street right off of Stankowski). I happened to look to my left to see these three young women. Please look at these facts and THEN imagine them with all the details.
The details: short dress -the kind that end three inches above the knee-, high heels, straight hair - the one in the middle had blonde hair while her friends downed brown hair. She had a bob... I think that is what it is called. -, and these girls were laughing and probably drunk. The moment I saw these young women I thought to myself, "Wow. If I had not changed in the recent months, I would probably try to talk to them."
In the past couple weeks I have had a few questions cross my mind.
Please help me answer these over time because they will come up eventually.

I got an event to write about.
ps. Im going home tomorrow night!!!! ahhh SPRING BREAK!

I'm on a mission.

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 23:44:45 GMT

To this point of the day I have stayed on schedule. So I'm going to keep praying for success.
I am sad I can not make FLG, but I will definitely never miss another one. Well... maybe Ill go for the first half or something. We'll see.
After these next two things (event, and another event) I will get some food! gosh I can't wait.
Then STUDY! ALL NIGHT!
I'm on a mission.
God's mission.

God Bless
Signing out,
Jake

Stadium Music by Day26 and This Week At Mizzou

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 17:07:20 GMT

Great song check it out.

So today here is my schedule:

1. Political Science 1230pm
2. call cashier 2pm
3. Spanish 3pm
4. Spanish help 4pm
5. J1100 reading 430pm
6. Write thesis for English paper 6pm
7. Invisible Children movie 7pm
8. cant go to FLG due to too much homework and studying.
9. Do Political Science Review! - or get from Adym if it looks good. 930pm
10. STUDY STUDY STUDY FOR SPANISH TEST TOMORROW! 10pm or 1115pm

Wednesday: SPANISH TEST. English Thesis Due. J1100 reading needs to be done.
Thursday: Political Science Test. Spanish Oral Exam.
Friday: J1100 reviewing. English Rough Draft.

This is the best week ever. Mark it down.... haha

God Bless
Signing out,
Jake

Too Many Young Women With Too Many Tears

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 20:39:38 GMT

For the third time in the past week I have been a witness to a complete stranger crying. These have all been young women. All very beautiful young women.
This has brought some great thought as of late. Some thought about genuine happiness.
It is sad to see how sad people are in possibly the most stereotyped place as 'happy.' College. College is pressure. College is hard work. College is being broke. To see so many people stressing all of the time is sad. Cheer up. Put on a smile. Smile as if there is something to smile about even if you don't think there is.
I can't say I am a role model is this, but I hope one day those three young women I saw this week put a smile on and feel free in God's great world.
Feel good because one day things will be fine. Things will better than how they are now.

God Bless
Signing out,
Jake

LETI student retrains at age 65

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 18:48:53 GMT

LETI student retrains at age 65
Dorie Clark re-enters the law enforcement field after being absent since 1992.

By Jacob Gonzales
Published March 13, 2009

Dorie Clark has not worked in law enforcement since 1992, but now he's back for more.

At the age of 65, Clark has become the oldest trainee in the 50-year history of the MU Extension's Law Enforcement Training Institute.

This past November, Clark wanted to get back into law enforcement, but he did not realize it until he dropped his stepson off for police training. He said he was unsure if he was able to attempt a return into the police field.

"I asked if they had an age limit, but (his stepson's instructor) said I needed to go back to school and be recertified," Clark said. "She recommended I go to LETI and that's where I ended up in January."

LETI Director Gary Maddox said Clark has an energy that the other trainees can easily relate to.

"He has a youthful zeal about him that causes him to fit right in," Maddox said.

Clark was a police officer from 1989 to 1992 in Missouri, but then he started his own private investigating and security service.

Clark knew when he stopped being a police officer in 1992 he still felt the passion of being an officer.

"I thought it would be a good idea to go back into law enforcement again because I missed it once I came out of it," he said. "I knew that's where my heart was."

After years of not being a police officer, Clark has never thought getting back into the field would be very challenging for him. He said his instructors have made training challenging but also enjoyable.

"I have a mindset of getting used to things and I do love challenges so I knew it would not be problem getting back into it," Clark said. "We have great instructors, and I do not get any special treatment by doing this. I like that."

Clark said the most challenging part of training has been the 6 a.m. physical training sessions, but he said he enjoys the treatment he gets from his instructors.

Clark has noticed his presence brings inspiration to trainees of all ages, helping some of them get through some of physical training.

"Some of them are in their 30s and 40s, and some of them have just come back from Iraq and they are having problems doing the course," Clark said. "Their reaction to this point has been that I do inspire them."

Maddox said Clark is admirable for not giving up his desire to become an officer once again.

"I am delighted when I see people like Mr. Clark willing to sacrifice what it takes to be a police officer in the world today and to do so at an age when most people are looking to retire or to just coast the rest of the way," Maddox said.

Clark said his message is if he can do it then others can do it as well, and he hopes that others in his situation come back into the field as well.

After LETI, Clark hopes to receive a job as a police officer at either Lincoln University or in Jefferson City.

for more information check out The Maneater. Go TIGERS!

College Stress Creates ‘Walking Tears’

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 05:05:38 GMT

I exit the library. I lean my left shoulder up against a light pole. I see a girl. She is on the phone with someone, and I could not tell who but to tell you the truth, I do not think it mattered who. She was crying. She talked about her quizzes and tests and the stress she is under. Gosh I can feel for her.

This message ran through my mind…
“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” Matthew 6:27

I worry about things as well. Please do not get the picture that I am saying I am perfect. Just take a breath. Step back from it all and take a single breath. At the end of the day worrying does not get you anywhere.
This young girl walked past me as fast as it took to process what she was saying, but these things I notice more and more. College students are so stressed. Relax, Breath. Relax, Breath. Relax, Breath. Take. A. Breath. Please.

God is with all of you. Trust Him and things will be at peace.

God Bless
Signing out,
Jake

ΔΔΔ and a Trial Run Radio Show!

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 16:21:09 GMT

I saw a young woman yesterday when I attended a J1100 event. A blond wearing all pink. This young blond woman sat at an event with a pink covered Mac computer. Her covering had two evident pieces of information for me to make an unfair judgement upon her.
One said: Paige.
The other said: ΔΔΔ.

Now my original first impression of this woman was pretty bad, but I stopped thinking about it a little bit later. I just couldn't stop thinking about how all of the stereotypes came out of me in one small moment. It is sad to think that I thought those things, but honestly... I find it funny in a sense that I saw that. Oh by the way the Mac symbol was bedazzled. Yep. Bedazzled. Have fun with that word today.

So I had a weird dream last night, but I can not get into it right now due to having class and a bunch of good ole homework to do. I will post later on.

OOOHHHHHH BY THE WAY!!!! I HAVE A MUSIC TALK SHOW THIS THURSDAY FROM 10AM TO 12PM. IT IS A TRIAL RUN TO SEE HOW I DO, BUT CALL IN AND SUPPORT (573) 882-8262!!!!

God Bless
Signing out,
Jake

check me out on Twitter!

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 15:35:41 GMT

new picture - exclusively on livejournal

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 05:11:32 GMT

God Bless
Signing out,
Jake

check wordpress for me

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 14:32:35 GMT

so if you wanna keep up with me
I can not be posting on this for a lil bit, but i will let you know when i can.... go to:
mytimetoshine45.wordpress.com
hope you guys follow along!
sorry about all this.

God Bless
Signing out,
Jake

An Open Prayer

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 07:08:51 GMT

Give me strength Lord. Let me have the strength to fight off the demons inside of me. I need this so bad Lord. Please set me free and point me in the right direction. I need so much right now. I need some guidance.

I give it all up to you.

God Bless
Signing out,
Jake

Brandon Chesbro's Photos of Paramore!

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 22:05:50 GMT

Check these out. These are great!

The last one is my favorite, but they are all great pictures.

God Bless
Signing out,
Jake

Lykins offers high credentials as wheelchair basketball coach

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 16:25:34 GMT

Lykins offers high credentials as wheelchair basketball coach
Lykins has nearly 30 years of experience in coaching the sport.

By Jacob Gonzales
Published Feb. 23, 2009

Ron Lykins has traveled to many countries with different teams, and now he is working as the Missouri Tigers wheelchair basketball team's coach.

On Feb. 2, the team appointed Lykins, a coach with 29 years of experience whose teams have previously won six gold medals.

Lykins attended the University of Kentucky, and in his senior year, a class requirement led to his future career.

"I needed 80 to 90 volunteer hours for a class in college," Lykins said. "I finished my requirement in about two weeks, but when I graduated from college one of the four wheelchair basketball coaching jobs opened up. Dumb luck I guess."

After his first coaching job at University of Wisconsin-Whitewater, Lykins became the back-to-back gold medal-winning coach of the U.S. women's wheelchair basketball team.

Associate coach Steve Paxton started the wheelchair basketball team in 2004 and said with Lykins' experience, recruiting should be reaching another level.

"This makes recruiting much easier with an international coach with gold medals," Paxton said.

With Lykins' help, the team is one step closer to reaching a goal of being competitive on a national level, Paxton said. Paxton called the timing of appointing Lykins weird but necessary.

"It was necessary because in the middle of last season, it was quite apparent we need more help," Paxton said. "We held a nationwide search and his experience and his knowledge base gave him the edge to winning the job."

Paxton started the program with one man and an office, and now with the addition of Lykins, Paxton still appreciates his job.

"I was one man doing 10 people's jobs, and now we are two men doing ten people's jobs," Paxton said. "Sometimes it gets to be a little too much, but I love what I do."

Senior John Gilbert won a gold medal in the 2007 Para Pan-American Games as one of the 12 players playing for the U.S.

Gilbert said Lykins' experience is working for the Tigers.

"The extra knowledge that he brings to the table has been great, and since then we have been working well with him," Gilbert said.

Lykins pushed away the acclaim when his gold medals are mentioned, giving all credit to his players by revealing what the keys to success have been so far in his career.

"I have had great players who work hard," Lykins said.

Three weeks into his position as a new Tigers coach, Lykins is trying to focus on improving more than the total in the win column.

"We want to win, but the most important goal is to be as competitive as we can get," Lykins said. "Winning is important, but this season is all about being as competitive as possible."

Coming away from winning the Madonna Magic Invitational in Lincoln, Neb., the team competed last weekend in the Crossover Tournament held in Brewer Fieldhouse.

Paxton said the program keeps growing, and he knows the addition of Lykins is another piece.

"The program is exploding," Paxton said. "It is getting bigger and better everyday. He brings a renewed energy to the program."

For more information on this story or more Columbia, Missouri news, check out The Maneater.

P.O.S. and My Thoughts

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 02:22:44 GMT

Today I have been thinking and I have also been falling asleep in English. I am not going to lie about it because I just could not generate enough energy to keep my eyes open, in the front row nonetheless. I am sorry for that because I must have looked so ridiculously disrespectful.

But besides that I have been thinking about my relationships with others.

It all started when I walked into a new Christian group I went to last night. We began discussing the idea of opening ourselves up to others and revealing our testimonies about how we grew closer to Christ. When the leaders of the group told me that I would need to write down my story my first thoughts were, "That's just impossible. I love to have details and I feel like I don't have enough time to write down my life story."
I gathered myself on the floor, trying to think of where to start, eventually finding the words inside of me that needed to be released.

After sharing my thoughts to others I felt better about everything, and it did help that after the group we went to IHOP.

Today, as I tried to study to Spanish but was greatly interrupted by 'YouTubing' Paramore videos, I also crammed in moments that I thought about myself. I have always known that I rarely share about my life to others but lately I have been trying to share. When I do share I feel like no one cares, even during my own words leaving my mouth I think this, but these people are different.

I have a 'homework' assignment to share my testimony again, but this time with someone else. Just share it. Does not matter who with, or when, but the most important thing is to get your voice out there to help share Christ's love for me. I have every intention to do just that.

When I was not falling asleep in English or being distracted my obsession with Paramore, I tried to think of someone I could share this to. I came up wit ha couple people who I would feel comfortable sharing with, so we will see how it turns out.

I took my Spanish test at the end of my class schedule today, and I feel okay about it. Could have been more confident about it, but it is over. That is all that matters to me right now.

Oh. You guys need to check out P.O.S. He is ill. Seriously the best rapping I have heard in the longest time. Lyrical genius.
http://www.myspace.com/pos

God Bless
Signing out,
Jake

Look for 2009 - What do you think!?

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 17:46:03 GMT

Which is the best look for 2009!? LET ME KNOW! comment please!

Let's do 'The Day' Dance!!!!

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 02:40:05 GMT

This is a tale of a young man who woke up at eight in the morning to his 19th birthday. He woke up with a smile on his face, feeling like lifting the world with all of his strength that God had bestowed him. He went to an interview at ten in the morning to try to become a Peer Advisor for his Sophomore year. After the interview, which went extremely well, he ventured across campus to attend some classes. After the classes ended on a very moderate note, he once again ventured across campus to head back to his dorm room.

Being his birthday, he thought that he might need some clean clothes - for once - for his birthday dinner.

He gathered his clothes into a bag that his friend Derek gave him, but he needed some money to actually do his laundry. In Derek's room was a peer of his name Dave or 'Big Dave' as many people affectionately call him, He asked Dave if he could use his card to do his laundry. Dave agreed help him out with washing and drying his clothing. He headed downstairs with Dave to start this long process.
After washing his clothing he was in the process of switching over to the dryers when he realized there were not enough dryers for his clothing. This is the moment in time when he thought, "Gosh are you kidding me?" He was not ready for the following events, but they were going to abruptly stop his momentum that he has so desperately tried to keep positive.
So, after he gathered his "dry" clothes out of the dryer, he headed upstairs to his room. When he arrived at the door he realized the door was locked. Normally this would not be a problem, but this time he forgot his key in his inside-left pocket. Naturally and rather quickly he burst in anger that he was locked out for the sixth time so far this year.
He sat down in the hall, thinking of what to do, as many of his friends walked up and down the hallway asking the question. The question being: "Are you locked out?" Against all of his self-control, he would always answer in a sarcastic tone full of self-pity and self-loathing. He sat outside of his room eating snacks with his friends who volunteered to stay with him and talk until his roommate came back.
For about one hour he gathered all the pent up frustration from the last month and put it into his head in one moment.
When his roommate came back to the room, the roommate immediately apologized and told him why he has not answered a single call. He was finally let back into his room, and began cleaning his room vigorously.
He swept, mopped, and dusted everything in the room that he owned. Through this all he could think about was the bad side of everything that has been going on. His birthday was supposed to be fun. Dinner. TV. Improv Comedy Show. Homework. Bed. That's how it was supposed to go, but in a flash he remembered something.
He came to the conclusion that instead of being upset at something he could not control, he was going to be happy. He decided to get on his day and begin smiling. His birthday is not over yet, and he will mkae the most out of it.

[Jake] wants to say this: "My name is Jake and I want to say thank you to all of you. Everybody that wrote on my Facebook wall, everyone who called, texted, left voice mails, or who personally said 'Happy Birthday," thank you for making my birthday much better. You guys are the greatest."

God Bless
Signing out,
Jake

Coolest Car Ever.

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 20:07:22 GMT

I was browsing Yahoo and this car popped up as a new story. Check these pictures out.

and it costs between 20-40k! not bad for a B.A. car

This is my future car..... haha.... prolly not.

God Bless
Signing out,
Jake